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A/N: George Lucas makes all the money from Star Wars for now.
The only way I can get paid is your reviews.
This is a OU/EU fic from Anakin's fall as Darth Vader, to his return to the Light, from his perspective.
please note: I will not make Anakin out to be ever purely evil, that is the emperor's role
Setting: ROTS, Mustafar
"Stop, stop now come back! I love you..." I was barely hearing what Padme was saying. Control, control, control Anakin. I was able to control the Force before, why can't I control it now?
OBI-WAN?
"LIAR! You're with him, you turned him against me!" Unquenchable rage filled me. Only hate was filling me. Without realizing it, I reached out with the Force, flowing to strongly to control."You brought him here to kill me!"
"NO! Ana..kin..." Her choked cry didn't phaze me.
"Let her go, Anakin." I heard my master's words, but they didn't register. "LET. HER. GO." What was I doing? Nearly horrified, I released her. My Padme, my angel, collapsed on the landing floor.
GET CONTROL, GET CONTROL, Anakin. But I couldn't control it. I was shaking with rage.
"You turned her against me!" I believed my own words, I didn't want them to be true, but the definite possibility of it, had the capability of filling me with hatred. I know it probably doesn't make sense, but it did to me.
"You have done that yourself." the truth angered me, but who to be angry at: myself, my Sith master for deceiving me, Padme, Obi-Wan. This was too complicated, but the Force was too strong. Obi-Wan had come here, to kill me, to take her. He was jealous...he wanted her for himself...the dark side conjoured up visions of him staring at her, wanting her...
"You will not take her from me!"
"You're anger and your lust for power have already done that." His elegant words meant nothing to me. The hatred had blinded me, I only saw him throw off the Jedi robes, ready to duel. "You have allowed this Dark Lord to twist your mind until now...until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy."
I DIDN'T SAY I WOULDN'T DESTROY THE SITH. I needed the dark side, to save Padme, and her alone. If I had to kill my master to do it, I would.
"Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do."
I turned away from Padme. I wasn't believing what I was saying. What was wrong with me? It felt as though poison was spreading through my system.
"I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire." The statement was robotic, like it had been carefully rehearsed, like I wasn't even saying them, like I was watchin' someone else say the words...The emperor. I would kill the emperor. He had let Dooku die, he had killed his own master, who was I to say that he wouldn't destroy me...unless the damage had already been done?
"Your new empire?"
Obi-Wan. He'd always held me back, always...before I thought them, the words were out of my mouth. "Don't make me kill you."
"Anakin, my alliegence is to the Republic, to democracy!"
I steeled myself, still hearing the words, not fully understanding the meaning. "If you're not with me, then you're my enemy."
"Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must."
Death was an absolute. No one understood that! "You will try."
I heard his lightsaber ignite behind me. I lunged at him, igniting my lightsaber in midair, a move I had always loved in a fight.
At first Obi-Wan only defended himself, and defended well. I matched his defenses, with more rage, flinging the Force at him.
Faster and faster we dueled, through the main room, where the slaughtered Separatists lay. I had killed them. Me. Darth Vader.
The power was almost too much to handle. I grasped Obi-Wan's throat. He gasped for air. I murmured curses I had heard on a remote planet, couldn't remember the name. Horrible words, words you say to the guy who is having an affair with your wife...
At certain points I didn't want to killl him. I could have sent Force lightning if I really wanted to kill him. I just wanted him to think I would kill him. Most of the time.
The confusion set off my timing. He slipped from my grip. We charged each other with Force power, each sending each other flying through the air.
Obi-Wan took advantage of this and Force-shoved me, raising his lightsaber. I seized my weapon and blocked what most assuredly would have been a deathly blow. We fought again with speed, each trying to cut off the others hand. When our lightsabers locked in place, we each tried again Force pushing the other. I summoned my rage. I didn't know where my master summoned all of his power from. I couldn't hold it, so I realeased him, which ment he released me, which sent us both flying.
This time I charged at him with Force power. HE did want to kill me, this fight proved it.
I charged again and again, sending Force kicks, Force punches. I charged him again, this time he fought back.
He couldn't kill me, he would take Padme from me...that thought of rage kept me going...
I barely noticed the planet melting down before my yellow eyes. As the tower we found shelter in collapsed, I still charged at him. Even as we swung from wires of the communications tower, I still charged at him. We made the jump to the floating pieces of the city. Now I was blind with rage, thinking nothing but the taste of blood. I tried to control it, but it consumed me, just as the lava licked up the tower that was now behind us. So concerned was I with trying to control the welling rage, I barely made the jump. But I liked it that way. The dare, the adventure of it all.
"I have failed you, Anakin; I have failed you."
Oh so now he admitted it! Treachery! "I should have known the Jedi were plotting to take over!" I shouted back. I wasn't ready to forgive him. Not yet.
"Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!"
"From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!"
"Well then you are lost!" How dare he?
Bitterly I remembered padawan training: it is truth from a certain point of view. Death. What was that? Mother. She didn't have midichlorians. They never checked. Again I let my rage blind me. It made fighting easier.
"This is the end for you, my master!" I charged at him, but again, I missed.
I didn't notice the planet was collapsing under me. Didn't notice we were in the fire lake until Obi-Wan said desperatly, "It's over, Anakin. I have the high ground."
The rage flowed stronger, leaping like the lava, flooding the midichlorians. "You underestimate my power." For one moment, I made myself forget who it was that stood above me. He was the emperor. For just one moment. Of fate.
"Don't try it." Be reasonable Anakin. NO, he's the evil. I'll kill him just like I'll kill the emperor, I'll cut off his head in midair. Without realizing it, I was in midair. I had been so filled with rage, I didn't notice I hadn't judged the distance...I swung at my old master. I missed. Blocking the swing of my lightsaber, my master missed, managing to sever the remaining limbs. I fell in the ash. I cried out in pain.
I tried to use the Force to move, but now it was gone. I couldn't lift myself, couldn't move.
"You were the Chosen One!" Obi-Wan shouted. "You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them. Bring balance to the Force. Not leave it in darkness." What was that filling his eyes, just as guilt began to fill my heart? Tears? He was turning away...taking my lightsaber, how dare you Obi-Wan? How dare you?
"I HATE YOU." for not killing me. You should, Obi-Wan. Traitor that I am. Flames licked at me.
"You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you."
Pain struck me. Brothers. We had always been master and padawan, master and knight. But pain enveloped me. The flames ignited, and I screamed in pain. It hurt. I couldn't even use the Force to block it. I couldn't even say what I was thinking. I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. I'm sorry.
Kill me. Just kill...me... I pleaded. But he had put up the mind barriers. I couldn't reach him, couldn't tell him how much it hurt. He turned away. He would leave me. Leave me to suffer. To kill would have been merciful, even for him. I tried probing in his mind. All I felt was sorrow...maybe a touch of hate. He did think I wanted to kill him. I saw the ship launch. Padme...I hope I didn't kill her, Force, please, just this one wish. Grant me that, I shall atone for what I have done, even if it is for the rest of...but I didn't finish the thought, I had slipped into a painful unconscious.
A/N: George Lucas makes all the money from Star Wars for now.
The only way I can get paid is your reviews.
This is a OU/EU fic from Anakin's fall as Darth Vader, to his return to the Light, from his perspective.
please note: I will not make Anakin out to be ever purely evil, that is the emperor's role
Setting: ROTS, Mustafar
"Stop, stop now come back! I love you..." I was barely hearing what Padme was saying. Control, control, control Anakin. I was able to control the Force before, why can't I control it now?
OBI-WAN?
"LIAR! You're with him, you turned him against me!" Unquenchable rage filled me. Only hate was filling me. Without realizing it, I reached out with the Force, flowing to strongly to control."You brought him here to kill me!"
"NO! Ana..kin..." Her choked cry didn't phaze me.
"Let her go, Anakin." I heard my master's words, but they didn't register. "LET. HER. GO." What was I doing? Nearly horrified, I released her. My Padme, my angel, collapsed on the landing floor.
GET CONTROL, GET CONTROL, Anakin. But I couldn't control it. I was shaking with rage.
"You turned her against me!" I believed my own words, I didn't want them to be true, but the definite possibility of it, had the capability of filling me with hatred. I know it probably doesn't make sense, but it did to me.
"You have done that yourself." the truth angered me, but who to be angry at: myself, my Sith master for deceiving me, Padme, Obi-Wan. This was too complicated, but the Force was too strong. Obi-Wan had come here, to kill me, to take her. He was jealous...he wanted her for himself...the dark side conjoured up visions of him staring at her, wanting her...
"You will not take her from me!"
"You're anger and your lust for power have already done that." His elegant words meant nothing to me. The hatred had blinded me, I only saw him throw off the Jedi robes, ready to duel. "You have allowed this Dark Lord to twist your mind until now...until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy."
I DIDN'T SAY I WOULDN'T DESTROY THE SITH. I needed the dark side, to save Padme, and her alone. If I had to kill my master to do it, I would.
"Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do."
I turned away from Padme. I wasn't believing what I was saying. What was wrong with me? It felt as though poison was spreading through my system.
"I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire." The statement was robotic, like it had been carefully rehearsed, like I wasn't even saying them, like I was watchin' someone else say the words...The emperor. I would kill the emperor. He had let Dooku die, he had killed his own master, who was I to say that he wouldn't destroy me...unless the damage had already been done?
"Your new empire?"
Obi-Wan. He'd always held me back, always...before I thought them, the words were out of my mouth. "Don't make me kill you."
"Anakin, my alliegence is to the Republic, to democracy!"
I steeled myself, still hearing the words, not fully understanding the meaning. "If you're not with me, then you're my enemy."
"Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must."
Death was an absolute. No one understood that! "You will try."
I heard his lightsaber ignite behind me. I lunged at him, igniting my lightsaber in midair, a move I had always loved in a fight.
At first Obi-Wan only defended himself, and defended well. I matched his defenses, with more rage, flinging the Force at him.
Faster and faster we dueled, through the main room, where the slaughtered Separatists lay. I had killed them. Me. Darth Vader.
The power was almost too much to handle. I grasped Obi-Wan's throat. He gasped for air. I murmured curses I had heard on a remote planet, couldn't remember the name. Horrible words, words you say to the guy who is having an affair with your wife...
At certain points I didn't want to killl him. I could have sent Force lightning if I really wanted to kill him. I just wanted him to think I would kill him. Most of the time.
The confusion set off my timing. He slipped from my grip. We charged each other with Force power, each sending each other flying through the air.
Obi-Wan took advantage of this and Force-shoved me, raising his lightsaber. I seized my weapon and blocked what most assuredly would have been a deathly blow. We fought again with speed, each trying to cut off the others hand. When our lightsabers locked in place, we each tried again Force pushing the other. I summoned my rage. I didn't know where my master summoned all of his power from. I couldn't hold it, so I realeased him, which ment he released me, which sent us both flying.
This time I charged at him with Force power. HE did want to kill me, this fight proved it.
I charged again and again, sending Force kicks, Force punches. I charged him again, this time he fought back.
He couldn't kill me, he would take Padme from me...that thought of rage kept me going...
I barely noticed the planet melting down before my yellow eyes. As the tower we found shelter in collapsed, I still charged at him. Even as we swung from wires of the communications tower, I still charged at him. We made the jump to the floating pieces of the city. Now I was blind with rage, thinking nothing but the taste of blood. I tried to control it, but it consumed me, just as the lava licked up the tower that was now behind us. So concerned was I with trying to control the welling rage, I barely made the jump. But I liked it that way. The dare, the adventure of it all.
"I have failed you, Anakin; I have failed you."
Oh so now he admitted it! Treachery! "I should have known the Jedi were plotting to take over!" I shouted back. I wasn't ready to forgive him. Not yet.
"Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!"
"From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!"
"Well then you are lost!" How dare he?
Bitterly I remembered padawan training: it is truth from a certain point of view. Death. What was that? Mother. She didn't have midichlorians. They never checked. Again I let my rage blind me. It made fighting easier.
"This is the end for you, my master!" I charged at him, but again, I missed.
I didn't notice the planet was collapsing under me. Didn't notice we were in the fire lake until Obi-Wan said desperatly, "It's over, Anakin. I have the high ground."
The rage flowed stronger, leaping like the lava, flooding the midichlorians. "You underestimate my power." For one moment, I made myself forget who it was that stood above me. He was the emperor. For just one moment. Of fate.
"Don't try it." Be reasonable Anakin. NO, he's the evil. I'll kill him just like I'll kill the emperor, I'll cut off his head in midair. Without realizing it, I was in midair. I had been so filled with rage, I didn't notice I hadn't judged the distance...I swung at my old master. I missed. Blocking the swing of my lightsaber, my master missed, managing to sever the remaining limbs. I fell in the ash. I cried out in pain.
I tried to use the Force to move, but now it was gone. I couldn't lift myself, couldn't move.
"You were the Chosen One!" Obi-Wan shouted. "You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them. Bring balance to the Force. Not leave it in darkness." What was that filling his eyes, just as guilt began to fill my heart? Tears? He was turning away...taking my lightsaber, how dare you Obi-Wan? How dare you?
"I HATE YOU." for not killing me. You should, Obi-Wan. Traitor that I am. Flames licked at me.
"You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you."
Pain struck me. Brothers. We had always been master and padawan, master and knight. But pain enveloped me. The flames ignited, and I screamed in pain. It hurt. I couldn't even use the Force to block it. I couldn't even say what I was thinking. I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. I'm sorry.
Kill me. Just kill...me... I pleaded. But he had put up the mind barriers. I couldn't reach him, couldn't tell him how much it hurt. He turned away. He would leave me. Leave me to suffer. To kill would have been merciful, even for him. I tried probing in his mind. All I felt was sorrow...maybe a touch of hate. He did think I wanted to kill him. I saw the ship launch. Padme...I hope I didn't kill her, Force, please, just this one wish. Grant me that, I shall atone for what I have done, even if it is for the rest of...but I didn't finish the thought, I had slipped into a painful unconscious.
I subconsciously heard the cackling laughter of Palpatine...no Darth Sidious. His orders to the droids.
LIVE MY APPRENTICE, LIVE. I automatically put up my mind blocks. Not yet. Not until Padme...but I thought no more. Pain wracked my entire body. The droids weren't very gentle when they put me on the ship. I gasped for air like a drowned fish. I couldn't breathe. Suddenly I siezed myself out of subconsiousness, was almost forced to because of the intense pain. I needed to recover in a bacta tank. There I would be fine. The respirator was keeping me alive, most thought. But what really was keeping me alive was Padme. The thought of just seeing her again...just once. Force sense told me it probably wasn't possible, but I didn't want to believe it.

They didn't put me in a bacta tank like I had hoped. Instead prosthetics. And I was fully conscious. And there was barely anaesthetic. I could feel Sidious grinning. My master was torturing me? And for what? I had done what he had requested, no more, no less. Yes I had gotten injured in the process, wasn't that enough.

NO, not for you my apprentice. For you it is not over, Darth Vader.

I would Force block him from my mind. But wait, Padme. I had to know about her first. I tried fruitlessly to calm my pain, as they drilled in the prosthetics, I tried to brush away the droids, but it was no use. And I could barely gasp out my protests. The job was hurried. What was this? A mask with photoreceptors? Oh Force, Oh Maker, not this. Please not this. Padme won't recognize me...

Finally though I can breathe, though it is loud and obnoxious, ringing still in my damaged eardrums. The table is raised, though I am still strapped down.

"Lord Vader, can you hear me?"

The surprise that he is standing there shocks me just enough to allow his Dark Side to enter my now weakened mind. "Yes, my master," the voice isn't mine. It's a deep baritone I don't know whose voice. I summon my power to block my thoughts, but it's not quite there yet.

"Where is Padme. Is she alive? Is she alright?"

Sidious pauses, ever the theatre, ever the dramatic effect. "Apparently, in your anger, you killed her."

"I? I couldn't have. She was alive, I felt it!" I didn't kill her. Me? Hate flooded. The droids exploded, as I released myself from the bonds which held me.

The pain was too much. I fought the tears out of my voice. But still, I spoke my mind, this time it was as though the Emperor had forced it out.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOnooooooooooo...the kneeling shot pain through my body almost as though I could feel the lightsaber, cutting through flesh...again...and again. I sense the Emperor grinning viciously. Obi-Wan had been right. He was evil. And now, I was trapped.

I fought not to cry. Better death than this. But Palpatine had insured that. I would live a long life, yes. Alone. The right hand of the Emperor, yes, but it would be a position no better than a slave. No better than Naboo when I was nine. Why oh why had I left

Tears came to my eyes. This mask could serve a great purpose. To hide my true feelings from the emperor.